...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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