yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
