His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
