I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
this will be a night to untag.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
