Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
