when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
