Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
