I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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