try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Randomize
