For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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