I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
