I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
