I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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