Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My cat gives me a boner
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
