So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
