Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
