fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
