i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
