you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I supernannyed him into submission
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
