Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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