I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
