He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
