it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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