porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
