Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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