I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
