i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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