when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
