your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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