There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
They have beer where we have blood.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
