Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
