My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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