she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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