Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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