Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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