Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
