where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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