She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
