I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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