It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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