She said her name was "party"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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