Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Randomize
