moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
