Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
