hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
