Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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