My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
