Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Little spoons don't ask big questions
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
