I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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