Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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